We all notice the time our children cuts his first teeth, but forget the time our fathers lose his last teeth. To satisfy our needs for more time to enjoy new experiences, science and technology progress have been prolonging human life span in these centuries, enabling us to live longer and healthier than our ancestor did.
However, becoming old seems too horrible to face for young people like us, since the elder look very different from us, such as their loose skin, tardy movement, bad memory, and untidiness. Moreover, the outside world is in fact largely designed for the young people, so old people tend to be more unsuitable to the living in such environment. People thus often think that the elder would be so fragile that they should stay at home to avoid potential risk. When becoming that old, who will care about my happiness?
To cope with these problems, a well-equipped nursing home or senior home is the ideal place to the elder, for not only their safety but the same age peers for them. Zhao-Ru Senior Home is one of such institution. Located at a community that stands on a hill behind Chengchi University, a place away from the city center which is serene and tranquil, Zhao-Ru is a home for many elder people who suffer Dementia, usually known as Alzheimer's disease.
On a chilly day I first visited and stood outside Zhao-Ru. Although I very much want to become a social worker, I still felt a little uncomfortable about getting along with the elder. I was afraid that I may not understand them when they are talking to me or I may do something silly to annoy them. I kept smiling to cover my anxiety when walking in; I knew my face looked unnatural. Yet, I comforted myself that the old are not aliens, they are just like children, thirsting for patience and love.
My first job was taking pictures for every resident. I took an elevator to the third floor. As the door opened, I breathed deeply and stepped out with smile, seeing the elder sitting at their chairs side by side with the only voice from a television. Many of them soon noticed and stared at me with smile. Grasping and skimming a name list, I found the first person, a grandmother, who sat and napped beside a heating machine with her hands crossed. I tenderly tapped her on the shoulder, waked her up, and asked if I could take a picture of her. She said she was too old and ugly to be taken pictures of. This response made me quite uncertain about what to do at first, and then I squatted down, held her hands, and praised her beauty. I found her hands were flimsy, smooth and cold. Fortunately, she grinned her appreciation of my help, and then she asked me to comb her hair and button her buttons. Finally I managed to take her picture.
I took their pictures one by one. Most of them were willing to be my models. They chatted with me while being photographed. Although I could not totally understand what they meant and often just nod my head in response, they looked very happy to have a person listening to them. At that time, it seemed quite easy for me to get along with the elder. They were all affable and pleasant old people. I walked confidently toward my next target, a grandfather in a fluffy green coat.
“Could I take a picture of you?”
“No.”
“Please, let me take a picture.”
“No.”
“But everyone has his own photo.”
I tried in a different way to invite him but it did not work. His eyes stared at the camera with his hands waving.
I made my whole effort but could not persuade him to be photographed. “Other grandpas and grandmas did it the same. Why doesn’t he do so as well?” I murmured. After a short period of mum, a nurse passed by, seeing what just happened, and told me: “He was a diplomat. He is used to protecting his privacy from being offended. If he doesn’t want to do that, don’t push him. ”
I was astonished while knowing his career, not because he was once a diplomat but because he worked as young people do. Yet soon I found it quite weird of me to be startled by learning about the fact that an old person could work normally and respectably in the past. Naturally, everyone works. Nonetheless, when facing these Alzheimer patients, I saw them anything but wise, intelligent or educated. To be blunt, my primary impression about them all concerned the negative side they show, such as weakness and poorness.
Suddenly I realized that we usually fail to show the due respect toward our senior friends in the society. People coming to the last stage of lives are often crudely regarded and classified as a single category named “the old” by the young only because of their similar appearance. They might be either sick or weak; they might sometimes lack full sanity, but they are still distinct individuals, whose uniqueness differentiates them from each other. Therefore, I think I should treat them like my friends.
After altering my view on the elder, I discovered that Grandpa Lian likes patting me on my back to express his friendliness; that Grandpa Chou can speak English frequently for being an interpreter all his life; that Grandpa Yu studied at Chengchi University while it was located at mainland China; that Grandma Kou always asked my name when seeing me, and that Grandma Xia always sings the song, Ode to the Republic of China, at the KALAOKE time every Friday. I also felt genial and warm from Grandma Ho’s hands, even though they were flimsy, smooth and cold. In addition, I found a secret that Grandpa Lo, who was a diplomat and dislikes being taken photograph, likes stealthily taking candy because he has diabetes.
With these experiences, I have known them better. They are neither aliens nor children; instead, they are my friends. Even though they lose their last teeth, they are still friends of mine.
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